Of explosions and broken hearts
by ZoeKar
Summary: It starts out just like any other average Tuesday morning. Until all hell breaks loose. [fictober day 1 "Can you feel this?"]


**A/N: So I decided to give Fictober a shot. Honestly, I don't expect to make it past day 4, but hey! I got nothing to lose. Please enjoy this angsty one-shot :) Not all my stories will be like that, promise!**

 **Fictober 2018**

 _ **Day 1: "Can you feel this?"**_

* * *

It starts out like any other average Tuesday morning; it _is_ , in fact, any other average Tuesday morning. Lena wakes up at five and skips breakfast in favor of a few more precious minutes of lying in. She gets at LCorp bright and early, before most of her employees and is greeted by her far too cheery security guard who wishes her a good day. And it is, by all means, a good day.

She's just finished with a meeting when there's a tentative knock on her office door and she can immediately feel a smile spreading across her face.

"Come in." Her smile is equally matched by the one Kara is sporting when she makes her way inside, her arms full with takeout bags. She's right on time for their scheduled lunch and it's what Lena had been waiting for all day.

They set everything up on the small table and plop themselves on the couch, close enough to feel each other's body heat but far enough for it to seem inconspicuous and friendly.

"You are so bad for my diet, Kara," Lena says with a laugh as Kara places yet another slice of pizza on her plate before stacking four on her own. "Just because you can eat like a bodybuilder on a cheat day and never gain a pound, doesn't mean we can all do that." Kara rolls her eyes and snorts, her mouth too full for her to laugh properly.

"As if you need to diet, have you seen yourself?" She means it in a completely platonic, friendly way, Lena knows she does, but she still can't help the heat that makes its way to her cheeks at the compliment. She uses her glass to cover it and hopes it goes unnoticed. It does, much to her relief and slight disappointment, and conversation flows easily between them from then on, jumping from one subject to the next, neither of them missing a beat. Until Kara does.

It's only for a second but she stops mid-sentence and gets that disconnected look in her eyes that causes Lena's worry to rise. It skyrockets when Kara jumps to her feet, pulling her up with her and practically flies to the door. No human should be able to move this fast but Lena thinks she should ponder on that a little bit later. The door to her office is locked and she can see some kind of struggle going on behind her eyes. She doesn't have much time to think about that either, however, as the whole building shakes and it feels as if all hell is breaking loose.

She feels Kara's grip tightening around her arm for just a second before she's thrown across the room, her back crashing hard against her desk as she falls in a heap on the floor. Her eyes dart to where she and Kara had been standing just a moment ago only to see part of the ceiling littering the ground and Kara nowhere to be seen.

It takes her mind a second to realize she panicking and when she does, she can't stop it. She knows she's hyperventilating, she can feel her mind getting hazy and her limbs heavy as she tries to move and can't bring herself to do so. Her ears are ringing, there's a sudden, sharp pain on the back of her head and she has no idea what's going on. All she knows is that Kara isn't there anymore and she can't will her voice to work in order to call out for her.

Her hand is shaking as she reaches up to touch the source of the throbbing pain on her head and it only gets worse when her fingers come in contact with a warm sticky substance that can only be one thing; blood. There are sirens in the distance and she wonders if it's for her. How presumptuous of her to think that they would be coming for her. There were hundreds of employees in the building whose lives deserved to be saved. Even if they reach her last, she doesn't care. Her eyes are heavy and the thought of sleep makes her body feel lighter. If only she could close her eyes for a few minutes, just to rest for a little while…

Voices. There are voices around her and one of them has to be Kara. She'd recognize that voice anywhere. Her own voice comes out a hoarse whisper when she tries to call for Kara and only now does she realize that the whole room has been filled with smoke. She has half a mind to notice that her leg is trapped under her desk and she can't feel it so it's probably broken, but that's the least of her worries. She coughs and it feels like her lungs are about to come out; she can't breathe. She knows, logically, that panicking during a situation like this one will only serve to make matters worse, but how can she not? She assumes everyone panics a little when they know they're about to die.

She made peace with it a while ago. She knows that she's a statistical anomaly, knows she probably won't live past the age of thirty or at least something close to it, not with both her mother and brother trying to kill her on every turn so it comes as no surprise that this happens. She didn't manage to reach thirty, but that was her being optimistic anyways. She kind of wants to know who it was this time, who the credit is going to go to. Maybe they worked together and that's why this attempt was successful. She wants to laugh and it's probably the worst time to do so, but she wonders if her mad Luthor genes are finally shining through. Took them long enough.

And then everything stops. And the pressure on her leg is gone and she feels herself being lifted off the ground so slowly and carefully, almost as if whoever is helping her is afraid she's going to break. The familiar voice next to her ear puts her at ease. 'Kara,' she thinks to herself. It's Kara and she's okay and she's saving her, she's flying her out of there and- Flying? Kara can't fly… Can she? She tries to jerk away from the person carrying her but their hold on her only tightens. And the soft voice is back in her ear, whispering soothing words as they cross the sky and nothing makes sense anymore. She loses consciousness some time during the flight. 'Kara is Supergirl,' is the last thought that crosses her mind before everything goes blank.

* * *

The soft beeping of a machine and the sterile smell of a hospital room is the first thing that greets her when she wakes up. She has no idea how much time has passed but her entire body aches, her back is stiff and her throat feels like sandpaper. Oh, and she can't move. Her head is too heavy to move and her limbs too heavy to lift so she just lies there for what feels like hours. It doesn't seem like anyone else is with her in the room, it doesn't even seem like she's in an actual hospital room if she's being completely honest.

Her mind drifts back to Kara. Everything is still hazy but she can remember flying. She can remember Kara flying with her in her arms. She can't really put a finger on what she's feeling. She's angry, she knows that much, but it's a dull kind of anger that's not completely justifiable. Kara is Supergirl, but that's not what she's mad about. No… She's mad because she let herself be tricked like that when it should have been clear as day to her from the beginning that something was off. Glasses and a ponytail really are not a great disguise and she has to wonder just how blind she has to be not to see through it right away.

She doesn't have much time to think about that, however as she hears steps and hushed voices just outside the door. With a clearer mind, she can now recognize both of them. One is Kara, of course, and the other, the other is Alex, she knows that for sure now. She can't understand what they're saying and soon enough the door opens but only one set of footsteps makes its way inside.

"You're awake." Alex. She tries to speak but ends up in a coughing fit instead and gratefully accepts the glass of water the woman offers her. She spills more than she drinks but it's still a welcome relief to her parched throat. Alex holds the glass for her at some point, tipping it just enough for her to drink more comfortably and waits patiently until she's done.

"Thank you," she tries to say but it still comes out raw and scratchy.

"Try not to talk too much," Alex says as she sets the glass back down. "You've been out for a while, gave us quite the scare, you know." She's checking the machine now with the gaze of a trained professional. "You broke your leg in two places," she says in a mostly detached voice, the same one doctors use when talking to their patients. "You're gonna have to be on bed rest and then use crutches for a while. I hope you have shoes that aren't insanely high heels," she laughs softly at her own joke. "You also had a pretty serious concussion which is what worried us the most. There doesn't seem to be any lasting effects, though I'd like to keep you here a couple more days for observation. I'm sure you understand." Lena nods, she has neither the strength nor the will to oppose to Alex' words. This is probably the longest amount of time the two had spent together, she thinks. "We've all been worried," Alex says. "Some more than others," she adds with a tiny smirk and Lena knows instantly who the comment is about. "She uh… She told me what happened," she says when she's done checking Lena's vitals, finding everything to be in working order, apparently, cause she pulls up a chair and sits down next to Lena's bed. "She didn't have to, she flew here in her civvies, but…" She sighs, her hand inching closer to Lena's shoulder but never making any contact. "Don't be mad at her for not telling you, please… For what it's worth, she wanted to tell you for a while now but- We wouldn't let her. You have to understand, there's too much at stake for everyone involved, it was as much for her own safety as it was for yours. It wasn't because of your last name, you have to know that by now." She gets up at that, her hand finally giving the younger woman's shoulder a firm but affectionate squeeze as she does so.

"Where is she?" Lena manages to ask as Alex approaches the door. "Is she… Can you tell her to come here? Please?"

"Of course," Alex smiles at the hopeful look Lena is giving her. "She's been worried sick about you, I had to actually drag her out of here earlier so she could rest. I'll let her know you asked for her, okay?" They both nod at each other, Lena's eyes never leaving Alex as the woman turns around to leave.

"Alex?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you…"

"Don't mention it, Luthor." Lena can't believe she actually laughs at the sound of someone calling her by her last name.

* * *

In all honesty, Kara is terrified. Terrified that Lena will hate her, that she won't want to see or speak to her ever again or worse, that she's not going to acknowledge anything that's happened. Kara knows that if that happens, she'll be the one to break down. She won't be able to be around her best friend and act as if everything is normal, she just won't. So she spends the three days Lena has been unconscious worrying to hell and back and preparing herself for any possible outcome. She doesn't think she'll ever be prepared for the worst case scenario, which would be for Lena to actually ostracize her from her life, but she at least has to try. Her eyes shine with hope and unshed tears as they jump on Alex the moment her sister walks out of Lena's room. She doesn't have to say anything for Alex to know what she wants.

"She asked for you," she simply states and Kara can suddenly feel her chest opening and tightening at the same time and she doesn't even know how or if that's possible.

"Hey, Kara, breathe, sweetie. It's gonna be okay, I promise." Alex' soothing hand rubbing soft circles on her back grounds her enough in order for her to collect herself and start breathing again.

"Okay…" she sighs and tried to hype herself up just enough to make her legs move. "Will you… Will you stay here?" she asks, her voice quiet. "Wait for me to come out?"

"Honey, I don't have to, but sure. I'll be here when you're done." Kara smiles and nods a few times before she finally makes her way to the closed door and knocks three times. She almost sobs when the familiar voice calls her inside.

"Lena?" she asks in a small voice, her eyes brimming with fresh tears as she looks at the young woman head to toe. "Oh R- gosh, Lena, you're awake," she cries out and practically runs to her friend's side, stopping herself just before she throws arms around her. She doesn't know if Lena would want a hug right now, especially from her, and that's killing her. "I was so worried," she sits on the chair Alex had been occupying a few minutes earlier. "Lena, I am so so so so sorry, I really am! I wanted to tell you for so long and at first everyone thought it was a bad idea so I didn't and then I couldn't bring myself to do it cause I didn't want you to hate me, oh gosh, you hate me now, don't you? Please don't hate me, I didn't keep it from you because of your brother or your mother, you are not your family Lena, you know that. I just- I thought the right time would come and I'd know when it did, but it never felt like the right time cause the longer I waited the harder it became and you kept opening yourself up to me and trusting me with all of you and there I was, holding an entire part of myself hidden away. It's so stupid and I'm so sorry. And then- and then you got hurt and I got so scared, Lena, you have no idea, I thought- I thought I was going to lose you and I hadn't had the chance to tell you anything yet and I would never be able to live with myself if that happened. I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did, I'm sorry I didn't come to you sooner and- You died, Lena…" Lena, who had kept herself silent up until that moment, lets out a gasp. "You did. On our way over here, your- your heart… I couldn't hear it anymore and it was some of the scariest moments of my life. I've grown so used to listening to your heartbeat and when it stopped it felt like the whole world stopped along with it, does that make sense? And then they had to shock you to bring you back and your heart wouldn't start and- And-" Kara is sobbing now and the only thing Lena can do is muster all the strength she can to hold her hand.

"Kara? Sweetheart, look at me, please…" It hurts to talk, but she doesn't care. The sound of her voice seems to have a calming effect on Kara who is now wiping her eyes and cheeks and raises her head to look at her. "I'm not mad at you, okay? I'm not. I was angry for about two minutes before I realized how silly I was being." The wet laugh that escapes Kara's lips makes the tears she had been holding back fall. "I'm here now, okay? I'm here and I'm not planning on leaving any time soon. Come here." She smiles at the confused look Kara is giving her as she pulls her hand towards her chest. "Can you feel this?" she asks as she places the soft hand over her heart and Kara nods slowly, tears once again rolling down her face. "Maybe it stopped for a bit, but it's beating now, sweetie. It's beating now and I bet if you close your eyes you'll be able to hear it too." Kara lets out a sound that's somewhere between a laugh and a sob as she closes her eyes and concentrates on Lena's heartbeat.

"I can hear it…" she whispers after a moment and it's probably the happiest she's been in a while. "I love it…" The words make their way out of her mouth before she has time to think about them and she both feels and hears Lena's heart skip a beat.

"It's beating for you," she whispers and she knows it's probably the cheesiest thing she's ever said but it feels so right that she doesn't care. Kara's eyes open at that and the young woman swears that her eyes are darker than their usual brilliant blue. She wonders if her eyes are darker too.

"I'd… really like to kiss you now. If you want to…" Kara licks her lips as she talks and how can Lena ever say no to that?

"I'd really really want to," she manages to whisper back before she finds lips pressed against Kara's. Lena never believed in fireworks during kissing, but she swears she can actually hear them now.

 **A/N: You can bet Alex opened the door at some point a bit later, saw them kissing and just noped the hell out of there tbh**

 **My plan for this was literally:**  
 **Earthquake/bomb - LCorp collapses - Kara there - Lena trapped - identity reveal - angst - resolution - happy (?) ending - success**  
 **Always important to outline your works, as you can see xD**

 **Feel free to track me down and stalk me on tumblr at itsaroseforrose**


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